Edward Bok’s story is the stuff of fairy tales. He emigrated
from the Netherlands, grew up with nothing, and turned that nothing – through hard
work – into a publishing empire as founder and editor of Ladies' Home Journal. He championed causes, refused to use quacks as
magazine advertisers, and coined the term “living room” because it appalled him
that people spent so much money furnishing the “parlor” without often venturing
into it for the family’s enjoyment. His Bok Tower and Gardens, dedicated in
Lake Wales in 1929, continues to inspire, educate, and quiet thousands of
visitors each year.
Well-known to those who walk the peaceful garden is a
famous quote, actually the words of Bok’s grandmother which he shared in his
autobiography, The Americanization of
Edward Bok; he won a Pulitzer for the book. The statement – on everything from
plaques to magnets – is worded a little oddly, reminiscent of Old World
syntax: Make
you the world a bit more beautiful and better because you have been in it.
Think about that a minute. The big
picture first, that when you die you will leave behind a legacy with your
family, friends, and community. Will it be a legacy of beauty? Loving actions
and words, accomplishments you were proud to achieve? No one wants to think
about their death, as certain as they may be, however. I think we can take Bok’s
quote and use it every day. Every hour. Every moment.
Years ago I was in Turkey, visiting
museums and mosques. I was amazed at the use of artistry in unexpected places.
Islamic art is traditionally free of any figures that might seem idolatrous.
Living beings are often avoided, then, with a focus on geometric shapes. But
such beautiful designs and colors are used, and in every corner, whether seen
by many or tucked away, hidden. It reminds me of Thomas Gray’s Elegy in a Churchyard: “Full many a flower is born to blush unseen/ And
waste its sweetness on the desert air.” In nature itself, where high atop
mountains grow beautiful, delicate flowers that are rarely, if ever appreciated
by the human eye.
I’ve heard
that a good housekeeping practice is to develop an eye for making quick
adjustments. Before leaving a room, scan for items out of place or in need of a
once-over. Leave each room better than the way you found it upon entering. If
this is done as a lifestyle, it follows that clutter is better kept under
control.
We could adopt
a combination of these thoughts as a lifestyle with one another, in our
families, our relationships, our communities, our world. Beauty for beauty’s
sake – not just artwork, but attitudes - in a world of coarseness, where giving someone
the finger when he cuts you off in traffic is the standard, where children’s
ears are no longer protected from harsh vulgarities, where those in authority
are disrespected, where elegance has given way to crassness.
As a
substitute teacher, I have been asked on several occasions why I smile so much.
“I’m happy,” I reply. “Aren’t you used to seeing people smile?” Inevitably, the
response is negative. How sad, that children grow up where a simple smile
strikes them as unusual. We can change that.
We’re entering
that time-slammed period of time in our country between Thanksgiving and New
Year’s, when everyone seems to be in a hurry, pressured, focused on
self-imposed goals or societally-imposed expectations. Buy, eat, hustle here
and there. I propose that we take a few breaths and set another intention.
Let’s leave
the next few months more beautiful. Flowers on the table. Smiles upon our
faces. With every room we enter, let’s ask what can be done to improve it. With
every relationship, let’s ask the same thing, every encounter with a fellow
human being. In an elevator, what can I do to make a positive impact on these
strangers – a smile, moving a little to the left to give someone more room, a
compliment on those earrings? Does someone at the office never have a kind word
for anyone – perhaps he or she could hear one, instead. Is a child at school
always a problem? Perhaps he is waiting to see if his teacher looks beyond
behavior to his true self, and appreciate him for just being who he is.
And when
someone cuts you off in traffic, be thankful for your brakes, the gentle
reminder to slow down, the opportunity to smile at another’s foolishness. It is
a simplistic idea, perhaps, but a thing of beauty, too, that today, I might
leave a conversation with a sense of having contributed something positive. I
might leave a room with a sense of order and creativity. I might leave a person
with a sense of affirmation and affection.
Maybe this is just too, too naive, but like in the movie Pay it Forward, in which a little boy challenged others to help, truly help, a few others, who would in turn help, truly help a few others...as in the book and movie Magnificent Obsession, where people devoted their lives to anonymously and significantly helping others...as in the Bible, where we are taught that we should love others as we love ourselves...I think a revolution of beauty in all its expressions is possible. Physical beauty is enhanced through smiling. Artistic beauty for its own sake, with no other purpose. A beauty of spirit, looking for ways to uplift. A beauty of order and cleanliness in our homes.
It's something to think about, anyway. For what it's worth.
(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014
Maybe this is just too, too naive, but like in the movie Pay it Forward, in which a little boy challenged others to help, truly help, a few others, who would in turn help, truly help a few others...as in the book and movie Magnificent Obsession, where people devoted their lives to anonymously and significantly helping others...as in the Bible, where we are taught that we should love others as we love ourselves...I think a revolution of beauty in all its expressions is possible. Physical beauty is enhanced through smiling. Artistic beauty for its own sake, with no other purpose. A beauty of spirit, looking for ways to uplift. A beauty of order and cleanliness in our homes.
It's something to think about, anyway. For what it's worth.
(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014
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