November 30, 2009 Fast or Feast...Maybe Both?

Baked turkey and sage dressing. Ham with clove sauce. Mountains of mashed potatoes, gallons of gravy, vegetables seasoned to perfection, hot buttered rolls, sweet tea. And that’s just the main course. For dessert, every variety of pie known to mankind—pumpkin, sweet potato, peanut butter, chocolate, pecan, chocolate pecan, apple, cherry, blueberry, blackberry cobbler, peach, peach cobbler, mincemeat, lemon meringue, cream—and the cakes…pound, chocolate, spice, marmalade, angel food, yellow. Followed by candies, fudge, truffles, mints, jelly beans, candy corn. Washed down with eggnog or punch, with coffee or Coke.

I defy anyone to keep an accurate count of their calorie intake between Thanksgiving and New Year’s…there’s just too much variety this time of year, too much richness, too many yellowed and tattered heirloom recipe cards pulled from between the pages of favorite cookbooks. This is the time of year that we most easily excuse and justify excess—it’s the holidays! We’re celebrating! Care for more whipped cream on that slice?

And that’s just the food. This is also, historically, in our nation anyway, the biggest buying season, the max-out-every-credit-card-season, the I’ve-got-to-buy-her-something-season. Would it be Scrooge-like to interrupt the festivities with a quiet call to…moderation? Even (gasp) discipline?

The season of Advent does indeed celebrate the coming of Jesus, the Christ child, but I wonder if we might better celebrate his birth by obedience to the teachings he delivered later in life. Mightn’t it be a novel approach to the holiday season of So Much to consciously, perhaps even painfully, do without?

It sounds almost sacrilegious. Easter is the season of sacrifice—Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice on the cross of Calvary—not Christmas. But what if we entered this time of year symbolically emptying ourselves? Cutting back, not just in one area, but in every area.

Because Jesus spoke directly to eating, that’s a good place to start: “My disciples will fast” (Matthew 9:15). Jesus said those words, those clear and emphatic words. In the midst of all the wonderfully aromatic kitchens, would he really dare say them to us? Now? Doesn’t he know it’s Christmas!!

“My disciples will fast.”

After the first of the year—that’s a better time to start. My blood sugar won’t let me. I get headaches. It would disrupt the household. I have to eat with the pills I take. That was for the disciples back then. If I fasted, I’d struggle with pride. I don’t want to be hyperspiritual. That’s just a little too charismatic, if you ask me. I’ve never fasted, and I’m a good Christian.

“My disciples will fast.”

Notice that Jesus didn’t say his disciples would fast one day a week, or three days a month, or on special days of the year. He didn’t say they would do it at the same time. He didn’t say it had to be from sundown to sundown, or from dinner tonight until breakfast the day after tomorrow. He didn’t say fasting is only effective if it lasts 3 days, or 7, or 40. He just said that his disciples will do it.

We usually think of fasting as “not” doing something, specifically, not eating. Jesus didn’t say, however, that his disciples “won’t eat.” Fasting is an active discipline, requiring the use of willpower, self-control, dependence on God—all good things to develop, good things that when acquired in sufficient measures, spill over into other areas of our lives.

Which begs the question…begs two questions, actually: Do you consider yourself to be a disciple? And if so, when will you be fasting next?

I submit that setting aside even one day during this season will help us maintain our perspective, help us focus on Christ, rather than Christmas. Help us empty ourselves a little more of self, that he may fill us anew with his Spirit. By giving ourselves even a brief respite from all the excess through a fast, we might even enjoy it more when we do sit down to a feast. Just a thought…


Permission to reprint with acknowledgement of source.

ellenofgillette1@aol.com

November 16, 2009 Lost and Found

“Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.”- Ashleigh Brilliant.
“For the Son of Man came to seek out and to save the lost.” – Jesus Christ.

There are several parables that talk about God’s desire that all people be saved. A woman loses a coin and turns her house upside down to find it. When she does, she invites everyone over to celebrate. A shepherd leaves 99 sheep that are exactly where they’re supposed to be to hunt down the one that is not, finds it, brings it back to the safety of the fold.

Interestingly, although the parable of the Prodigal Son falls in line with the other two, no one goes looking for the prodigal once he chooses to take his inheritance and leave. His father waits for him from home, longing for the day when his son comes to his senses and returns.

Three similar stories, but let’s look at the differences. A coin has no choice where it is. Inanimate, it depends on someone picking it up and laying it down. The woman lost the coin; the coin didn’t “get lost.” This strikes so close to home, because I am constantly unable to put my hands on a piece of paper or a photo or something I really, really need RIGHT NOW because of my own lack of organization (only occasionally because of helpful people who move my stuff, but that’s so much easier to take!).

So the coin is lost, but it isn’t to blame. Think of people out in the world who have never heard the gospel, never heard “Jesus” except as a curse word, never known tenderness or training. They are lost without a relationship with the God who loves them, but is it because of something they did? Perhaps the woman in the story is a Church who has let people fall through the cracks, who hasn’t gone out into the highways and byways looking for those in need, who hasn’t gone out into the fields “white with harvest” and brought in the sheaves.

The sheep? Sheep are pretty stupid, really. We raised goats for awhile and their level of intelligence is similar. There may be 20 acres of lush pasture grass but one or two will get their horns stuck in the fence trying to reach something on the other side. We’d make fence runs, calling out “Maaaaaaaaaas” and head for the faint sound of another dumb goat caught. And of course they didn’t just stand there quietly while horns were disentangled; they fought you. They were stressed, fatigues, frightened…and inevitable struggled against the very people trying to help.

Sounds very familiar, doesn’t it? When people stray from the path of righteousness, when people leave the foundations they know, the teachings on which they were brought up, they invariably find trouble. They’re lost because they got distracted by the pull of something just out of reach and lost track of time, not hearing the shepherd’s call back to the fold. Entangled by weakness and addiction, those who love them enough to track them down and try to pull them back to safety may have a fight on their hands, but it is a fight worthy of the time and energy.

The prodigal is without excuse. He knows better, but he chooses the easy life, the lazy life. He wants instant gratification, not years of faithful service. He wants to play fast and loose with the money someone else earned, with the teachings someone else paid a price for learning. Rather than someone who is unsaved, perhaps he best represents the backslidden believer, the deceived disciple, the carnal Christian. He knows the love of the Father, the wealth of his provision, but he has grown impatient to fulfill his destiny. He wants to launch out on his own, has a better idea than faithfully toiling in the fields with his brother.

His brother doesn’t go after him. His father doesn’t send messages or plead for him to come back. It has to be the prodigal’s decision or it will, at best, be a temporary return for spending money and a full belly before heading back to the world.

It seems the perfect place for Jesus to talk about coming to seek and find the lost, but he saved that nugget for the story of Zacchaeus, the wee little man who climbed a sycamore tree, entertained Jesus with a meal at his demand, and was so moved that he committed to follow Jesus and live a life of generosity and honesty. He stopped long enough to listen to Jesus, and that was all it took—just a tiny gesture of interest, and Jesus took it from there.

Jesus is indeed the Lord of the Lost. What is lost in your life today? Finances? Dreams? A relationship? A child? A marriage? A job? Your favorite pen (I’m still hoping someone finds it—cobalt blue, with real gold trim, a gift from my son Caleb well over a decade ago)? Stop the intensity and turmoil of life long enough to listen to what Jesus is saying. Ask him to find what it is you need, whether the answer is lying dormant within you or you need to go to a person in humility or it is time to accept a loss and move on.

He’s the Lord of the Lost, and of the Found. What a wonder to be found by him as the Prodigal’s father found his son on the road to his home, embracing him and rejoicing over his return.

Permission to reprint with acknowledgement of source.

Ellenofgillette1@aol.com

November 2, 2009 Hallowon't

I’m sort of the Halloween equivalent of the Grinch. I don’t like Halloween. There, I said it! I confess! I wrote a newspaper column stating the basic reasons why many years ago, and heard later that I’d been the topic of a radio commentator’s tirade. How can anyone not like Halloween? Children love it! There’s chocolate!

When I was a little girl, our church participated in Trick or Treat for UNICEF—I remember walking around the college campus where we lived, dressed in the pilgrim outfit my mother had sewn (my sister was garbed a la Martha Washington), tightly clutching the valuable pennies that would benefit children on the other side of the world.

As a new mom, however, there was no UNICEF angle where we lived. I found myself questioning the history of Halloween and whether or not the things it promoted was what I wanted to promote in my children. The church I attended hosted an alternative to trick or treating, asking children to dress up as Bible characters instead of goblins and superheroes. Dress-up is fun, as well as being an important imagination-stimulator. That, I could handle. But we didn’t take the kids trick or treating.

I think they’ve forgiven me. The jury’s still out on the Santa thing.

Now that my children are adults and I’m a grandmother, I’ve had to adjust a little. When my oldest granddaughter attended a church pre-school, Halloween played a surprisingly huge part of their October curriculum. I bit my tongue at the Casper coloring pages, even made her a costume for the school parade, bought candy to hand out in the neighborhood. Didn’t like it, but went along for the ride.

I could get into the questionable beginnings of Halloween, the dark history, but instead, let me just give some personal thoughts. Our Lord is the Lord of life – Halloween, traditionally, focuses on death. Graveyards, R.I.P., ghosts haunting cemeteries…where is the fun in that? Having buried a son, and having found many hours of comfort praying and crying at his grave, a cemetery holds no fear for me. We will all die one day; Christians certainly have nothing to fear from death, because it is the gateway to eternal life—why make it a scary thing for impressionable children?

Witches and demons—and they are real, not cartoon characters to mimic or lampoon—do not celebrate the Lord of life, but raise creation to a status of equality with the Creator. Minions of the Lord of darkness, they manipulate us for evil purposes, tempt with sin, terrorize and taunt…anything to take our focus off of God and his promises. What possible good comes from dressing up like them and either diminishing the reality of their existence or paying homage to their powers?

And don’t even get me started on the latest vampire phase. Hollywood has taken killing and the eating of blood (forbidden in the Bible) and sanitized it to the point that tweens, teens, and adults who should know better, are swept into the romance of it all. “But this is about good vampires,” I’m told. Ever see them reading their Bibles? Do they go to church? Do they follow Jesus? I think not. Are they good role models for our children? They hate the light…which sounds familiar. Biblical, even, in a definitively negative context.

But the candy…everyone loves candy, right? We have a nation of overweight children (and adults) but on October 31 it’s okay to gorge ourselves on sweets. Aside from candy makers, who really benefits? The candy’s available throughout the year at every grocery store, but wrap it in orange and black, and it’s supposed to taste somehow better.

Call me strange if you will, but the whole concept of trick or treating rubs me the wrong way. Jesus preached a gospel of giving, not taking. Of doing good to others, not playing tricks on them when they don’t comply with our wishes. Maybe I’m being an extremist—certainly the majority of little children traipsing door to door have no mischief in mind—but I think words are important. When we sing “trick or treat”, we’re actually saying, “If you don’t give me a treat, I’m going to play a trick…and you won’t like it.” Not healthy, if you ask me…and nobody did, actually!

While I’m all for disregarding Halloween completely, I do appreciate the attempts to refocus people from haunted houses and that ilk onto more positive activities. The church with which I am blessed to be involved hosts a fall festival in October, free to the church kids and to the entire community. This past weekend we worked for its success, gave out tons of candy, dressed up ourselves (it’s always fun to pretend to be someone else!)…as well as showing a friendly face to folks who would otherwise not darken our doors. If that brings people to Christ, hallelujah! Use what Satan loves to use for bad, for good. It saddened me, though, as the caretaker of the Garden Tomb trying to solve the "Mystery of the Empty Tomb" that other events had sufficiently trained some kids to expect frightening objects to jump out at them as soon as they entered the darkened room. Some were really afraid...the opposite of what we wanted to provide for them.

On All Hallow’s Eve itself, I went to another church for their "Trunk or Treat" (candy was given out of the back of vehicles), heard the gospel message in exchange for a free hot dog, won a cupcake in a cakewalk, oohed and ahhhed at the adorable kids in costumes, and got to sit inside a firetruck. All in all, not a bad afternoon.

Later, I got lots of exercise following the grandkids and their friends as we snaked throughout our daughter’s neighborhood (sorely needed exercise after the amount of sweets consumed). It’s not that it wasn’t fun…it’s just that the same activities could have been done any time during the year without the ghosts, goblins, skeletons, vampires, werewolves, graveyards, witches, demons, serial killer costumes, fake blood, etc. etc. etc.

Okay, I’ve vented. Halloween’s over and no real wrong, hopefully, was done. Maybe I’m being too serious, too literal, too hyperspiritual. Maybe next year I’ll dress up as Elvira and score some Kit Kats myself.

Sarcasm. Just another service I offer.

Oct. 19 – Different Strokes for Different Folks…and Churches

I don’t know about you, but the number of quizzes my Facebook friends take is often staggering. Which Disney character are you most like? How much to you know about your hometown? What flower would you be? How long will you survive when zombies take over the earth? Where do they find the time, much less the inclination?

Not that I haven’t taken my share of quizzes—I’ve just leaned toward the sort that can help in the real world (assuming we’re never invaded by zombies). From temperament tests to spiritual gifts, from personality tests to determining my love language, these are actually helpful in determining our places in the body of Christ. We’re not all mouths, obviously, although sometimes it seems that way.

Let’s look at the New Testament scriptures that celebrate our diversity within the Body of Christ:

“We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully” (Romans 12:6-8, NIV).

“Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines” (1st Corinthians 12:7-11, NIV).

“It was (Christ) who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service” (Ephesians 4:11-12, NIV).

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides” (!st Peter 4:10-11, NIV).

These verses make it clear that Christians have different gifts, different flavors, if you will. Churches are like that as well—not just denominationally. Some churches, for instance, are called to focus on evangelism and discipleship while others have an anointing for worship and teaching. One church may be extremely active in mission work, while another is led to social activism. Every church will have elements of The Church—incorporating worship, teaching, evangelism, outreach, etc.—but sometimes one “gifting” sets a church apart. People in the community will sometimes pick up on this when members of the church don’t even notice. “That’s the church that helps the poor,” you might hear. “If you want strong Bible teaching, that’s the place to go,” “My cousin was healed at that church’s Sunday night service,” etc.

It is helpful to know when choosing a church home, or when (ideally) God leads you to a church and you are getting acclimated. If the church back back home spent two hours in spontaneous praise and worship and the one you’re visiting manages to squeeze in three hymns and the Doxology, you’re going to need to adjust if you decide to put down roots—chances are, they’re not going to adjust for you! If you’re strictly into exegesis and homiletics with a good mix of Greek and Hebrew thrown in, a church that doesn’t require seminary-trained preachers (1) may not be the best fit or (2) be exactly what you need.

One of the main complaints about churches is that “it just doesn’t meet my needs.” Years ago, I heard a speaker say that church isn’t supposed to be like a grocery store. The shelves aren’t stocked with everything you need. The church is where we are trained and equipped to give ourselves away. When we look to others to meet our needs, rather than to God himself, we will always be disappointed.

Permission to copy with acknowledgement of source.

ellenofgillette1@aol.com

October 5, 2009 Reexamining the Real Questions

We get hung up on the questions of life, but sometimes we're not asking the right ones.

We get hung up on “when”. When I finally get married…when I get that promotion…when we get out of debt…when I get a little R&R…when the kids are grown…when I graduate…when I can drive…when I retire…when we get back from vacation…when we get a new pastor…when my spouse changes…when my friend calls to apologize…when, when, when.

We wait for something else to happen, for others to act, for God to change those around us or for God to change our circumstances, or even for God to change us.

But it’s not about when, it’s about where. Not timing, but geography:

“If we walk IN THE LIGHT as he himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1:7, NRSV).
“I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide IN ME and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing: (John 15: 5, NRSV).
"As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge IN HIM” (2 Samuel 22:31, NIV).

Not when, but where.

We get hung up on ”how.” How is this ever going to work out? How will we ever make it through this? How can I face that person again? How can I be sure this is the right thing to do? How will I be able to live, after this? How, how, how. But it’s not about how, it’s about who. Not by what means shall something be accomplished, but by whom it will be accomplished:

“For from HIM and through HIM and to HIM are all things. To HIM be the glory forever! Amen.” (Romans 11:36, NIV)
“HE who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6, NIV).
“And God said unto Moses, ‘I AM THAT I AM’: and he said, ‘Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you’” (Exodus 3:14, KJV).

We try to figure it all out ahead of time. We try to see further down the road than we have light for. We want to know the answers now, but why? So that we can offer our opinion? Approve the methods and strategies at work? How foolish we are, as if we could possibly know the Best.
It’s not about how, but Who.

And finally, perhaps most often, we get hung up on “why”. Why did this happen? Why did he die? Why can’t my loved one change? Why won’t they understand? Why can’t I let this go? Why can’t I do what I want, for once? Why, why, why.

But it’s not about why. I heard Carmen Leal speak at a Caregivers Conference a few years ago. When her husband was diagnosed with a rare illness and her own life turned upside down, she cried out to God with the inevitable “Why me?” After searching her heart, however, she changed her question to “Why NOT me?”

There is suffering all over the world. Why shouldn’t I have a taste? People are undergoing terrible trials and tribulations at any given moment. Why should I be any different? Whether the trouble comes from my own choices, or from someone else’s choices, or whether it is the hand of God training me for his own purposes, or whether it is an attack from the enemy of my soul…not one of us is exempt:

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body” (2 Corinthians 4:7-10, NIV).
“For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us” (Romans 8:18, KJV).
“In the world you face persecution. But take courage; I have conquered the world” (John 16:33, NRSV).

Not why, but why not? We’re in this together, learning, growing, being stretched and challenged, being disciplined and blessed, but we’re in this with “him seated on the throne and…the Lamb…be blessing and honor and glory and might (to them) forever and ever!” (Revelation 5:13, NRSV)

Permission to use with source given.

ellenofgillette1@aol.com

September 21, 2009 The Theater of Life

The community theater with which I am active opened a show this past weekend, which means that last week was, shall we say, verrrrry busy. Late rehearsals every night, changes with the sound system and accompaniment, drama on stage and in the wings. If you’ve never participated in community theater, I highly recommend it, but it is not for the faint, requiring enormous amounts of time and energy and commitment.

Because of my involvement—immersion, really—at this particular time, I was musing on the fairly common analogy of our lives as plays. So much that goes on with theater mirrors the Christian walk. You must be able to trust your fellow actors, for example, that each will learn and know each cue, each line. That your props will be safe, ready for your use. That the sound crew will stay on task. That sets will enhance, not distract from, the production. That the director will do all he or she can to bring out the talents necessary onstage for an excellent performance. I could go on and on. It’s easy to jump from such thoughts to the church, and beyond that, to life in general.

Is God the director in our lives, or merely part of the crew? Are the actors with whom we regularly perform trustworthy, or do we find ourselves constantly covering for their mistakes? Who is our audience—the world? God? The mirror? Our bosses or bank account? Have we studied our lines, laboring over each cue, each nuance, or expected what we should know to miraculously find its way into our little brains with minimal effort?

I came across the following unattributed essay online and found it very thought-provoking, although perhaps in a different direction than its writer intended:
“LIFE IS A THEATER; Invite Your Audience Carefully. Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a DISTANCE. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of, or at least minimize your time with, draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships/friendships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention. Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know or appreciate you? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of Your Life. ‘If you cannot change the people around you, CHANGE the people you are around.’ Remember that the people we hang with will have an impact on both our lives and our income. And so we must be careful to choose the people we hang out with, as well as the information with which we feed our minds. We should not share our dreams with negative people, nor feed our dreams with negative thoughts. It's your choice and your life..... It's up to you who and what you let in it.”

On the surface, that sounds very good, very sensible. We do need to be aware of those around us and their impact on our lives. It goes without saying that some relationships are healthy while others are poisonous—the sooner we rid ourselves of those, the better we will be. But…

On the other hand—not to sound hyper spiritual or cliché—but what did Jesus do? He hung out with the dregs of society whom the Good People of the town considered toxic. He invited a man to live with him for three years, fully cognizant of the fact that the man would betray him. He welcomed people with pasts to his most intimate conversations, never questioning whether he could trust them—knowing, indeed, that he could not.

Jesus “(changed) the people” he was around, but not by banishing them and substituting more appropriate, acceptable, uplifting, encouraging, helpful people in their place. He literally CHANGED them, from the inside out. People came into contact with him and left the better for that contact.

Which leaves me incredibly comforted (to know that Jesus would welcome even someone like me) and also incredibly challenged (to realize that I am much more likely to cut people out of my life who negatively affect it, rather than seek to be a positive influence in their lives). As in all things, there needs to be a balance, but do I err on the side of reaching out to people or pushing them away?

As with most things spiritual, there is a paradox at work. The Bible counsels us to be self-aware, to love our selves first and care for our emotional, physical, and spiritual health. There are valid times for separating ourselves from potentially harmful, even sinful, relationships. But when reading the above quote, I remember Henri Nouwen, who chose to care for a severely retarded man and take a vow of poverty, instead of continuing a life of public speaking and wealth. Or Mother Theresa, who saw Jesus in the eyes of the dying masses of India.

I’m not at their level of spiritual maturity, obviously-- I have trouble loving the people in my own household, at times! But I am “confident of this, that he who began a good work in (me) will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6, NIV). I trust my director to get (even my) performance the way he intended. It may take an awful lot of rehearsals, because I often flub my lines or miss my cues, or refuse to even show up, but the show, as they say, must go on. God will see to that. If I remain under his direction.

That much, of course, is completely up to me.

Permission to use, with acknowledgement of the source.

September 7, 2009 Love Unlimited

"God loved his creation so much that he gave his one and only Son over to death- the only way to atone for everyone’s sins with the sacrifice of a perfect man- that whoever will believe in Jesus and trust him with his or her life shall not die in sin (a just punishment) but instead live beyond physical death in eternity with God himself." John 3:16 (paraphrase)

We’ve probably all got our personal lists of despised activities and attitudes, ranging from serious to trivial. When we hear of someone doing something on our lists, we mentally assign appropriate punishments. If I were God, I would….

Years ago in Ft. Pierce, Florida, where we lived at the time, a young boy--only three or four--was murdered by a man who was supposedly taking care of him. The boy eventually died after being sexually assaulted with a household item of some kind—a chair leg, or a hose… I don’t remember. (Some details you don’t want to know.) The little boy’s name was Benjamin. I do remember that.

I also remember thinking that an appropriate sentence for Benjamin’s killer would be assault with an object of similar size-to-age correlation, forcing him to endure exactly what he had forced upon Benjamin. Even then, however, the killer wouldn’t have experienced the sheer terror of betrayal, the toddler-sense of being loved and cherished and safe turning inside out in the instant his babysitter became, right before his eyes, a beast.

Oddly, I’ve never been asked to sit on a jury.

I fear I’m growing less tolerant over time, not more. My grace is so pitifully limited, my love so devastatingly finite. God, on the other hand, has no limits at all to his love, grace, forgiveness, and pardon. “Whoever believes…” the Bible says. “Whoever comes…”

When six-year-old Adam Walsh was taken from a shopping mall in Hollywood, Florida in 1981 and decapitated, I was the mother of two young children. Rocking the baby to sleep one summer night shortly after the tragedy occurred, I remember praying for his family when the Holy Spirit whispered, “Can you pray for the person who murdered him?”

I tried. I’m pretty sure I mouthed the right words, but God, seeing my heart, found no compassion there. Knowing that Jesus had died for the sins of all, that he had died for my own sins… at that moment I wished for there to be limits on God’s goodness. Hell wasn’t just meant for Satan and his angels, surely, but for his agents of pain and suffering such as this criminal.

When my own shortcomings grow into actual wrongdoing…when I do not fall into sin so much as I leap into it…as a child would leap into a pile of dry leaves shouting “Wheeeeee!” is the way my friend Doug Easterday describes it…then I want my heavenly Father’s mercy to know no bounds. When you sin, however, especially when you sin against me!…not so much.

When I began writing this, I intended to discuss one of my pet peeves—people who claim to “be there” for you who clearly are not. The paradox is, of course, that God, who created us all to be in intimate relationship with him, not only has the most people crying out to him in need but also the largest capacity to meet those needs. Through some mysterious, mystical way, impossible for our tiny minds to grasp, he actually is “there for us” at all times, whether we acknowledge his presence, desire it, or push it away with all the anger of a little child being made to be still…until the child tires of struggling, relaxes in the loving yet firm arms, and falls peacefully to sleep. “And lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20, NASV).

Benjamin’s murderer is, as far as I know, still alive. Adam Walsh’s murderer died in prison. One still has time to hear the gospel and believe, if he hasn’t already. It is possible the other cried out to God for mercy before it was too late. We may be very surprised at some of the people we rub shoulders with in heaven.

And some of them may be surprised to see us.



Permission to use with acknowledgement of source.